Leaving Palestine

for one of my last nights my host family decided to make a nice dinner for me and julia. Being christians, my family is allowed to eat pork, and for some reason they decided that massive amounts of pork would be the perfect goodbye bbq. It was delicious, but several pork chops, pieces of bacon, and countless sausages later i was stuffed! It was really nice to have a nice goodbye dinner with them, they set up a whole, almost romantic, dining area outside and we smoked argilah and drank arak and had a really nice time. It was unfortunately cut somewhat short because i had decided i wanted to go see the only club nearby in beit jallah called cosmos, which was incredibly lame, and not at all worthwhile as it was an off night. I didnt have much left to do besides pack which i put off until the absolute last possible time. My host mom made me my favourite beef stroganof-ish lasagna and i was debating the whole day what to do with all my political souveniers like free palestine shirts. I was joking that i would just wear them all under another shirt because if i was going to get strip searched at the airport i was already in hot water and it might make for a nice laugh later. I wore it the whole day and joked with everyone that i was going to just walk through ben gurion airport that way. I went to the bible college where my group was having its weekly meeting to say goodbye to everyone which was really hard and sad. Everybody gave me huge genuine hugs and promised to keep in touch, and i could see my sadness reflected in some peoples eyes. I tried to keep a smiling face because there was no point in anyone getting too upset over something like that when they were going to continue to live under occupation for a while longer. My roommate caught me when we were leaving shedding a few tears, and that was alright with me, i just didnt want to make some kind of scene. We went home and i said goodbye to my family and i just wanted to stay more than anything else. They kept telling me that i could but we all knew that was unreasonable. They made me promise to come back, which wasnt an empty promise at all. I knew i hadnt stayed for long enough to see and do all the things i wanted and that i was going to come back and do what i could to help or at least shed some light on their cause.

Ultimately i just packed all my political wear inside of other clothes and was on my way. A driver came to pick me up, he had residency in jerusalem and was therefore able to drive me all the way through. We actually had a pretty fun ride joking in arabic, though he told me his family spoke aramaic which i thought was fascinating because i had always assumed that language was dead. Aramaic is the language that jesus spoke, it is very old and rare to encounter. We made jokes about the occupation the whole way, which was really nice because i was honestly pretty scared about going through security, especially after hearing about all the other people that got strip searched and had their computers taken and everything. I didnt do anything that was illegal while i was living in the west bank. I was volunteering and helping people and there wasnt anything wrong with it, but the israelis really want to discourage this kind of thing so they like to make it difficult for you. Its very different that security in america where really they just want your sharp objects and liquids as opposed to going through your books for political things. My driver just told me to keep smiling and that everything would be fine, when we drove up to the airport they put a sticker on my passport, which he peeled off despite my objection saying 'they do this to everybody it is just to say you have an arab driver so they can search you' so i suppose that was for the best even though i was feeling pretty strange about all of it. It didnt matter because they searched everything i owned anyway and took my computer to a special room. Luckily i had prepared myself for this beforehand, but it was still a hassle.

On the flight back i was sitting next to an christian american couple. they said they had been to israel a few times. i asked them what the most powerful thing they had seen while they were there was, and they replied 'the wall'. I was really excited thinking i had found someone who understood some of the things i had seen while i was there but it turned out to be a huge miscommunication because they meant the wailing wall. i was so confused i was asking 'you mean you didnt see THE WALL, its twice the size of the berlin wall!' but they hadnt. on the israel side it is often buried and painted like the landskape around it and sometimes it actually looks pretty nice, especially in comparison the the concrete barbed wire atrocity we were forced to look at every day. They were christians, but they decided to skip the bethlehem part of the pilgrimage since in israel it is portrayed to be a hotbed of terrorism and violence and completely unsafe for anyone. they went on to explain to me how happy they were to be in israel because it is more free to speak because apparently 'america is so anti israeli, you cant say anything'. I decided i wasnt really in a good place to talk to them much more. First of all israel gets millions and millions of dollars from america to do things like build that wall. Those are our tax dollars, and if that isnt blind support i dont know what is. They may as well have checked up on their investment. Second i dont think it was very fair for them to have such a strong opinion on the situation without seeing what was really happening any closer. If they were in jerusalem it was just 20 minuites to where i was staying if there wasnt any checkpoint hassle. Before they decide that the international community is 'too hard on israel' they should probably see what israel is really doing and then they are entitled to whatever opinion theyd like. The situation has been likened the most to what happened to the native americans in pioneer times, and to the south africans with their aparthied wall and white government. One would be able to see these comparisins with ease if they put forth any effort at all to see what was going on with human rights there.

Last Trip in the West Bank

I went to my last protest to the wall building in the south. The soldiers had set up a road block, knowing that we were coming, so we had to kind of off road to get to where we were going. Eventually we made it, i have found that with the determination of the palestinians that go tot this protest, there is absolutely no point in making road blocks. This is their land, they know the ins and outs, and nothing is going to stop them from being there. when we got there the people had gotten the biggest palestinian flag i have ever seen and they walked right up to the barbed wire fence and just held it there. This was one of those things that instills hope. Such a big symbol of freedom is really powerful. I really enjoyed this protest, everyone came out and it was just nice to see all of your friends each holding a piece of the same flag. Each taking a part in the same solidarity. I tell you that these protests are fun, and in a way it is because you get to socialize with all the palestinians and really show your dedication to the cause with your friends. Its also fun in the sense that it gives you a nice warm feeling of internationals and palestinians getting together and organizing to do something instead of just complaining. It gives a hopeful feeling that although this will not probably impact anything of the building of the wall there, the people are learning non violent resistance to the occupation and applying it. If they have enough hope to go though all of that, its a reason to have hope yourself. On the other hand i am not going to lie to you. When we first get out of that car and start walking towards those soldiers, my heart is beating out of my chest. Everyone feels this way, its not anyone in particular, i think thats why it becomes such a bonding thing. Nothing will bring people closer than knowing they are both on the other side of the fence from the people with guns haha. Solidarity.

The last weekend trip took us up north all they way to cessaria, nazareth, the sea of galilee, and haifa. Truthfully we did so much and i was so exhausted i dont know if i can remember everything but it was still an interesting trip. The beaches were beautiful, especially cessaria-i think i am forced to take back what i said about tel aviv as it turned out to be even more beautiful. This trip, like the one before to jericho and the dead sea, was more sight seeing and religious pilgrimage oriented. I suppose after the first hebron trip, that was just what they had decided for us. I was glad to see the sited, but it wasnt the reason i had come to live in the west bank. I was sad that we didnt meat with any groups like we had met with icahd in jerusalem or anything. This was a tour i could have gotten by anyone. I think i am just getting frustrated because i have to leave so soon, and i just wanted to get in every possible thing i could and understand the most in the time i was here, and so despite the historical significance and beauty of these places i was somewhat disappointed. I could have gone to these places on my own at some distant time in the future on some tour, i didnt need to be with a political group to do something that had no politics in it. Again i am reminded by everyone that to fully understand the politics, you must understand the religions and the history. Still i stray from this viewpoint. As ive probably said earlier, i think this whole palestinian question needs to get as far from religious philosophical debates as possible and right down to human rights. Still i know that even if its just an excuse, these things are the things that drive everything here.

Some things i found really interesting on this trip. Nazareth is a part of israel, and the people there are 'israeli' but they are all palestinians. Its not under occupation, they, unlike even jerusalemites, get citizenship and have their own palestinian governor. That was very strange because, for some reason, i thought all the palestinians had been pushed out and that in israel you wouldnt find these all arabic speaking places like this. it was just strange because it was another imaginary border separating a bunch of things that are all the same from one another. I guess in a best case scenario, this is what the one state solution would look like, which up until now seemed completley impossible just because of all the racism. The israelis have their own problems between arab 'mizrahi' jews and european jews. I figured if they could not even tolerate other jews with darker skin, how could they ever tolerate palestinians, but here they seemed to be living in relaive peace in nazareth, though i should mention that they are looked down upon by other palestinians because many of them serve in the military, and are often harder on people than the jews to earn their status in israel. they are a special group, and they exchange the peace they enjoy for the peace of other palestinians, which causes some peolpe to see them as sell outs. nonetheless it was interesting to see some palestinians enjoying almost all the rights of the jews in israel. i went to the most well preserved crusader castle, where jesus walked on water, where he turned the bread and fish into enough to feed everyone, where he turned water into wine, and where mary was told she would conceive. This last one had to be the coolest church i have ever been to. They had pictures of mary and jesus sent from every country in the world, and it was just so interesting how the picture changes to fit the culture. for example the chinese mary looked completley chinese, the mexican mary was mexican and so on. It was really cool to see all these countries adaptations of the same image to reflect their own cultures and i liked it alot because when you put them all together like that, it dosent seem like were all so differant after all.

one of the most interesting things i saw there was actually a television program about reporters in gaza. Reporters are pretty much the only people allowed in and out of gaza nowadays and the program was showing how the israeli soldiers were sending a pretty clear message that although they have to allow the press in, it would come at a price. there was tons of footage of press waving white flags and just getting shot right in the face by soldiers for no reason but to send this message. i wished more people could see programs like this here because i think people feel like the international community is invincible, and particularly because many of these people come from countries that have very good relationships with israel. its of course powerful to see what is happening to the palestinians, but i know much of the international community has already decided that theyre all terrorists and somehow deserve those atrocities. Perhaps it would be more resonating to see some people from their own countries with helmets and jackets with 'press' spelled out as big as it could waving white flags, obviously innocent, and realize that we are all the victims in this struggle.

return to hebron, the orphanage

i suppose after the first big incident in hebron, it was important to me to go back. it wasnt quite somuch a face your fear kind of thing as much as i felt like the first time we just got out of there as fast as we could, and i would have liked to see more. In addition to this desire to go back, we had all been hearing about these orphanages there that are set now for demolition. CPT has been calling for other internationals to please come down and spend a night in the orphanages to try and deter soldiers from doing raids and destroying things, or at least slow down the demolition process. four of us set out to go and stay a night in one of these orphanages.

We got a cab, went through all the checkpoints, and arrived finally in hebron. Hebron is a much more conservative muslim city than bethlehem, and so the girls were all wearing long sleeves and pants. It was pretty clear as we were waiting for the CPT representative to come meet us that they dont get tourists very often. I remembered from the first trip how sad the old city is. Its a complex beautiful old medina, like fes or any other big city in the middle east. I had remembered placed like this in morocco and how full of life and buisiness they were. thousands of little shops, fresh food cooking and just full of people. The old city in hebron, because of the harrassment of settlers is just completley deserted. most of the shops are closed, and it is just weird to see something like that. it would be like entering a super mall in america but without any of the merchandice, just a few things to remind you that it was once there.

We did a Breif tour of the city and the orphanages with CPT. I dont know that they are my favourite group to work with. They are very passionate about what they do, and the truth is that between the extreemes in hebron (the settlers and the conservative hebronites) the peacemakers there need to be just as hardcore, but it just isnt quite my style. From what ive seen so far in the wet bank, if you just wait long enough trouble will come to you, there is no need to go looking for, or fabricate it. The things that you can see there are powerful enough. Im sure what im saying isnt making much sense so ill give you an example. As a part of the tour we went to go see a bakery that was making all the bread for the orphanages, the israelis had raided it, and destroyed everything inside. There was still bread scattered across the floor and everything was just completley trashed. I asked them when this had happened because it looked really rescent, and they said it had been a couple of months. I think after a couple of months it would be alright to just throw away the rotting bread, i know it was left there to give everything the impression that it could have been only yesterday that it happened, but to me these things just dont seem nessicary. The israelis raided a bakery, the scene was powerful enough on its own without the whole song and dance. The cpt lady also said she had been there for 5 years, but she didnt speak a work of arabic; what she meant by 5 years was a few weeks in the summer here and there, i just was turned off by all the exaggerations. Anyway, as i feel this method would not work in bethlehem, i respect that these are the kinds of people needed in hebron, because everyone there is fanatical, it would take fanatics to understand and to save them. they are VERY well respected in the area, and they do ALOT of good work, i ont want it to seem like im saying they dont. They walk all the children to school so they dont get beat up and really do their best to protect people there.none the less for the time being i dont want to be used as "cannon fodder" for them to make a point, and i think that is fair too.

The orphanages were much much larger than i had expected. To destroy them would be quite a feat. For some reason when i heard about it i just didnt realize quite what was entailed in all of it, but seeing it their desruction would displace hundreds and hundreds of kids who obviously have nowhere else to go, simply because they are funded by the Islamic Charitable Society, and anything having to do with islam must, accordint to the israeli government, be breeding little suicide bombers instead of doing any actual good. There is obviously no proof of this, you can find all their records, its pretty transparent that it really is a charity, but the israelis want to discourage tying islam to anything that could be successful there. When we got to the orphanage, there were also alot of places that had been raided. They had taken all the sewing machines, which produced much of the income and training for the girls. They showed us pictures people had managed to take during the raids, and told us what to do if soldiers were to come. They werent expecting anything to happen that night, and nothing did happen, but they were expecting in the next few weeks for the soldiers to come back for either more raids or with papers for demolition. It really is a sad situation for those kids.

We had a fun night despite the situation. We ate tons of hummus, got massages from some random guy, and Adam and i stayed up for most of the night speaking in arabic and smoking argilah with the guard and his buddies. The next day we went to the glass factory that hebron is famous for and bought some random stuff. The people were really nice and didnt make us barter for a good price or anything. Margie even got to paint and keep her own ceramic bowl. We made it out without any settler incidents, job well done!

dead sea

its really hard only being here for a month. i love everyone in our group, i am really close with my roommate and host family, and i am genuinely happy here. since the very beginning ive sort of been counting the days because it all seemed like it would be so soon already that i would have to leave. I know how programs like this work, i remember morocco. After the first month the group of people who were there longer shrinks and so everyone is able to get alot closer. Its really hard when i cant get in touch with anyone at home, and im gone long enough that it creates a distance with them, but at the same time i am not here long enough to really get close to everyone the way i would like to. The potential is here for some lifelong friendships, i just hope everyone doesn't forget about me as soon as i leave. Ive just been in a weird mood for the past few days, this will all pass.



this past weekend we went to the dead sea. We got to see Jericho, and an 8000 year wall that is the oldest city in existence. it is a very strange feeling, knowing youre next to something so old that it is the oldest something there is. this is the cradle of civilization. We also got to see the judean wilderness, which i really like especially because its called wilderness. we had to bargain our way into the dead sea because tey tried to turn our bus back for having a palestinian driver. when i say israelis have rights to 99% of the water, i sure mean it. This includes the dead sea which is probably the least potable thing in the world. We talked our way in and it was really nice and beautiful. You just run in and cover yourself with mud and float around. It can be tons of fun, unless you get any water in your eyes or mouth. Some off duty IDF soldiers swam over and were hitting on us, much like the ones in tel aviv. Again bragging about their missions, telling us that pretty soon they were going to gaza to kill all the terrorists. Julia got a kick out of it when i played my stupid american card and asked them what gaza was. I was laying on my back and i ended up with water all over my eyes, but my eyes were closed so i just couldnt open them until i had fresh water to rinse them out with. So she and the IDF soldiers lead me back up to an outdoor shower. Im sure it must have been hilarious to my host family that was there, me being lead around by couple soldiers, we had walked right passed them, and as i was later informed, a couple of topless women. I wouldnt have known though because i was blind. It was great i wandered back over to the group and smoked some argilah on the beach, there is nothing better.

hope in the holy land

hope is a very important thing, that has been in my thoughts alot here. Some days it is really hard, because i get all these messages of hopelessness, see so many people who have given up the struggle. I know that i am a hopefull person, or else i wouldnt be here. there would be no point unless i was some sort of sadist to see so much suffering and not believe in change. i have to keep reminding myself that that is a part of me, and i have to hold onto it. Hope is a dangerous thing to lose, and here in palestine it is all anybody has left. We have to believe in change, or it can never be realized. Its that whole ghandi 'be the change you want to see in the world' kind of mentality. The things i have seen and experienced here have changed me, and i only hope that i could get through to at least one person when i go home. To tell them what ive seen, and to broaden their perspectives on the situation.

We did an amazing thing this week. The orphans from SOS village were going on a field trip and chris and i were invited to come with them to Ramallah. We sat in the front of the bus to help them get through checkpoints, though the soldiers still came on the bus with all their guns, even when it is just full of children. At that point i was upset, i have chosen to be in this situation, and i understand having guns around all the time is a position that i put myself in coming here, but i was forced to think of the first time i ever saw an M16, i certainly wasnt a little child like they were, honestly it might not have been until i came here. What a strange childhood it must be living here, being desensitized to guns like that by the time you hit puberty. When we got to Ramallah, there was a full fledged carnival, it was amazing! i didnt think they had anything like that in the west bank. There was a ferris wheel and all kinds of other rides, all with palestinian flags hanging off them. The kids were running around, trying to ride on everything and they were all just so hapy to be there. There was actually a little mini water park (when i went home to bethlehem nobody believed me that there was a water park in palestine, i had to show them all pictures and still i think there was some doubt). The kids were all holding my hands and dragging me everywhere begging me to go on all the rides with me. Its living on the edge enough to go to the west bank, i dont know if i have it in me to try a roller coaster too. none the less it was great, i was just so relieved that they got to experience something that seemed like a normal healthy childhood to me, something that i understood. All of a sudden there was no ocupation, there were no guns, there was no fear. These were just kids, like every other kid in the world, having fun.

This week we did another thing that instilled me with a little hope. There is a place on the outskirts of beit sahour called oush grab, instead of going to the usual friday protest in the south, we went there. It was an old military base that they have now turned into a park. Lately i have also been struggling with the idea of non violence, and its many definititions. Ive been looking and trying to figure out what the most effective, true form of non violence is, and what we did in oush grab was just fun. They are trying to build a settlement there, and so the people are trying to make sure that when the settlers come, they see that the park is in use. Friday morning we went down with alot of other internationals and palestinians to play a game of bingo. This way when the settlers came, we could ask them if they were there for the bingo game, tell them it was 2 sheckels, or else they could just watch. I didnt get lucky at all in the bingo game, and truthfully much of the day was anti climactic, but i was still glad to participate in non violent resistance that wasnt quite so stressful. The israeli military came and exclaimes "what is this circus?" in hebrew, they had no idea what to do with us. We could hear horns blowing and everything, but ultimately we were forced to leave before we actually encountered any settlers.

fun with bedouins

We all went to a place called 'tent of nations' for dinner. It was a really nice place, gorgeous view way up on a hill. Tent of nations is basically a plot of land that has been owned by the same family since ottoman times. They showed us the caves there in which they used to live. The place is completely surrounded on all sides by settlements, and the israelis are doing everything in their power to confiscate this land. Because of this, they have tried to make it a fun place for internationals to come, work, help with summer camps, and generally have a presence to try and deter incidents from the settlements. Still many of the things that happen are ridiculous. Besides being terrorized by the settlers, they also have a new problem on their hands. The owner build a small fence around his chickens to keep them together, apparently this violates israeli building code, even though its his land, and its not even a building, so now they are coming to destroy it. There was also an infringement on this because of the actual tents, which are now set for 'demolition' which i guess is just tarp confiscation.

All these things aside, it is a very beautiful and nice place. We had a palestinian poet, and some bedouins to play music for us and sing songs together. They were incredably excited that i was from texas because apparently, we texans are the closest thing to the bedouins america has. They wanted me to sing some songs from my homeland, the best i could come up with was 'home on the range' and 'the eyes of texas are upon you', which was generally embarassing and only occured after they started chanting TEXAS, TEXAS. It was great, i was asking them to play marcel khalife songs, and we were all singing together. It was really beautiful and nice. I think we all needed to just take some time out in the country. I definitley felt better after getting to meditate on the land and situation from such a beautiful place. I was only sad that my camera could not capture the true beauty of the sunset there.

the other side of the wall, tel aviv

I had a free day and could not for the life of me decide what to do. Rafat said to just go to tel aviv and relax, so Rebecca and i decided to do just that. It was fairly east to get to with my majic blue passport, it only took a couple of hours to get to the beach. Rebecca had been wanting to see the medditeranian, and i thought after the rough time id been having lately that it would be good to go escape for a little while. Unfortunately this wasnt entirely the effect that this adventure had for me. I couldnt help but think as i was passing through the checkpoints (while the palestnians had to get out and walk through) that this was something that my host parents and friends in paletine could never do. it was a few hours away, but they had never seen it. There are no beaches in palestine, theres hardly enough running water do brush your teeth. In tel aviv, they ahve water running constantly onto the ground, just in case you have some sand on your feet, it was ridiculous when youre aware of the water shortage. When we arrived at the beach, i was amazed. Rebecca and i agreed that it was by far the most beautiful beach either of us had ever seen, and much nicer than anything we have in the states. Tel Aviv is very modern and secular. Everyone seemed to be keeping up with the latest fashions and then some, and all of a sudden i realized how all of this works.

When people had been saying that alot of the israelis are unaware of what is happening next door, i was outrages, i figured they must know and are just choosing to ignore it. Here in Tel Aviv, it became obvious that it really is the farthest thing from their minds. People here are more worried about what to dress their dogs in then they are about human rights in palestine. Danger seems like an impossible thought. While we were at the beach, it was also a little hard for me because some off duty IDF soldiers, in all their off duty drunken stupors kept hitting on us. Actually i found it kind of funny, but the things they were talking about were pretty serious. One guy kept offering us drinks and wouldnt leave us alone, he kept bragging about how many arabs he was going to kill as if it was something that would impress us. Truthfully i found it disgusting. It was also so strange what great detail they would go into if you just asked and seemed like you were on their side. theyd tell you all about their missions and their plans, apparently this is how you get chicks in tel aviv. we went back with our stomachs full of Mcdonalds, and i couldnt wait to be home. It was a good experience, and i was glad i got to see how the other side lived, but i just wanted to put on a free palestine shirt and go smoke argilah downtown.

a side note

around the time i went to tel aviv, i heard again something that i had already heard many times while i was here and it had to do with the israeli flag. after the third or fourth time i heard this from different people it finally started to sink in because this seemed to be common knowledge over here. The two stripes are supposed to represent two rivers: the nile and the euphrates, and the star is supposed to represent the land of the jewish people. This boils down to the idea that they are entitled to everything between those two rivers, which is quite a bit of land. When i first understood this idea, and how ingrained in the people it must be to become a part of the flag i almost just felt physically sick. When you look at the map of israel over the past 60 years, it has grown immensely and i know that the plan is for it to keep growing but i had no idea just how far. Everything here is under the excuse of security, but as i have already learned almost none of it really has anything to do with security. I wondered if all the land israel stole from the surrounding nations was just a part of this expansion rather than 'bartering chips to increase their security'. I wondered if egypt understood the real plan when they chose to make peace. I was answered that egypt did know and there wasnt much more to say about it. I just thought it was interesting to have a little more insight into the israeli plan, which makes many things that seem illogical make more sense, though that insight is usually very frightening to me. When the british decided to make a state for the jews after WWII, they had several other choices besides palestine. I like to wonder what it would have been like if they had chosen argentina at times like this, and how they would have justified their expansion there, and what would have happened to the argentinians. I dont know why i like to do this its not like it would be funny for argentinians to be oppressed, i guess it just seems even more ridiculous if it had been there and they were trying to justify the same things without all the biblical names. The world would be such a different place, and these huge changes can be in such little decisions that people make so haphazardly. I suppose its hopeful, although many of these decisions have caused changes for the worse, that something could happen that could possibly cause such a huge positive impact. Now all i have to do is figure out what it is.

refugee camps

in the past few days i have made some trips to a few of the refugee camps around bethlehem. I visited di heisha, which got its name when the british asked the egyptian soldiers what they had just stumbled upon, and they responded in their dialect 'this is a jungle'. I also went to Aida camp. These refugee camps were somewhat confusing to me when i got there. I guess i had always imagined the kind you see on tv where there are people all lined up in tents with UN trucks handng out food. This was not at all what i found. These camps have been built, there are buildings. It is really much more like a project or a ghetto than the image of tents that many people have. Because these refugees have been living there for 60 years, they started making homes, and so now it is more of an issue of poverty there, and the inability to go anywhere else. there are tiny one or two room homes built all on top of each other with families of 10 or more sometimes living in one room without running water or electricity. This is what a refugee camp looks like in palestine, this is what displaced people look like after 60 years. There are people who were born and have lived all their lives there.



I have found also that the mentality of the people in these camps is differant than the ones that i live with in beit sahour. In bethlehem and beit sahour, the people are frusterated with the oppression, and they really want to just be left alone. They want the same rights that citizens are entitled to, and they want a government that represents and protects them, they want to be able to build their homes, they want to have control of their water and electricity, and they want a future for their children that does not include so. They want to be able to visit their families in neighboring cities without the trouble of checkoints, and they want to see their holy sites.



In the camps, the people remember their homes, most of them still have the keys to their houses in what is now israel, and have held on to the idea that if they could go back, they could rebuild their lives, and things could go back to an idea of normal that many of them have never truly known. The problem with this is that these homes they dream of returning to, no longer exist except in their memories, they now have israeli families in them, in fact theyve probably been remodeled if not rebuilt. all the street names have changed. still, this is the only hope these people have. they dont have good education, most of them dont know how to use computers and going home might be the closest idea to going somewhere with their lives, they just cant accept that they should be in a refugee camp forever, and i cant blame them.



these refugee camps used to be completley enclosed, noone could go in or out, they are surrounded by a fence that was guarded by israeli soldiers. Now many of those soldiers are gone, but still the people are trapped because land is so expensive, permission to build is almost impossible to get, and their old homes are seperated by a concrete wall that is twice the size of the berlin wall. In many ways this is the same struggle that is happening in palestine now. The people used to be oppressed with military and tanks, and the enemy was clear. Now it seems that the israelis have found even more effective opprestion tactics that leave them invisible. They are attacking the economy, choking the infrastructure, and when they want people dead they come in dressed like palestinians, often in the night. The effects are the same, but it is harder for people to unify against an invisible enemy.

trouble in paradise

Things are still going well for me here in palestine. my host parents are great, they always make us good food, and its obvious they are so in love. Julia likes to sing and dance around to make them laugh, and at night we all smoke argilah together. Ive been working at the SOS children's village with another guy in the program named chris. This is basically a village of children who have no family capable of taking care of them, and so they raise them in houses with a little family structure. I suppose having no parents creates a lack of discipline, and so we learned our lesson and have started taking them in smaller groups every day so that things dont get to chaotic. I dont know what it is, but palestinian children seem to be the cutest in the world.


I went to my first protest. Bethlehem is surrounded by the wall on two sides now, but they have plans that it should be surrounded on all four soon, creating a sort of isolated ghetto incapable or sustaining any kind of economy. This is why, every friday, people go down to the villages in the south that holy land trust has been trining in non violence and show our international support for their cause. The wall splits up homes from farmland, and families from each other and its effects to the local infrastructure are devistating. It was pretty intense to see soldiers lined up across a makeshift barbed wire fence with all their tanks and guns, holding flash bomb grenades (they make a loud sound that leaves you temporarily deaf) and tear gas canisters, just waiting for someone to say the word. I couldnt help but think that many of those soldiers had probably come from the united states, and think about the fact that when it came down to it, some of them were americans ready to throw tear gas at other americans, and all of a sudden it seemed so silly. We were the same people, from the same place and we had come to a spot of land, divided by our support of opposing groups and there they were with their guns ready and here we were with our cameras. I am glad that i got this first real taste when i did.


On sunday, our group went to hebron, which ended up as a disasterous incident that everyone is still dealing with. The situation there is very tense between the settlers and the palestinians. In fact if you just type 'hebron' and 'settlers' into youtube, you will find numerous videos of them throwing stones, and beating people, while the military watches and does nothing. The palestinians have to keep mesh all over their streets, just because of the ammount of junk the settlers throw at them. We were with a palestinian woman leaving her house and we almost immediately encountered a group of settlers that began harrasing her, and trying to take pictures of everyone in my group. The settlers in hebron can best be described as crazy, and as their irrationality gathered speed, the situation escalated very quickly. Soon enough i had an israeli woman screaming in my face that "if you want to kill jews, go to germany". Now her husband was the one with the assault rifle in my face, we were all obviously unarmed, it seemed that it was much more likely that they were out to kill americans that day, and this is when some people decided they couldnt handle it. The group split into two, which was the one thing we had been instructed not to do. Some people left, and others stayed. The soldiers there seemed to be trying to calm us down, but at the same time it was clear that they had no real power. One of them started asking me about texas and telling me how much he loved the dallas mavericks until one of he settlers said something to him in hebrew and he informed us that he was no longer allowed to speak to us. We asked if she had the authority to do that, and he just shrugged yes. Eventually we made it out alright, but it was still very tense because the division had caused the group and the group leaders not to trust each other, and everyone felt like someone else had put them in more danger. When we went back to the woman's house and onto the roof, i could see clearly that through a mess of green mesh on the next rooftop, there was a sniper pointing his gun down into the street below, exacitally where we had been walking before we had encountered all the madness. I had a very strange feeling realizing that we had all at some point been in his sights only moments before without ever knowing it, and it was an even stranger feeling when we left having to go back that way with the new knowledge that he was there. I think that many people had had a clear shot of me that day, and it is a very strange feeling that i lived only because they all made choices not to shoot me.

im having to kind of backlog these since it was so hard to get internet over there, so im going to just copy some ideas and things out of my journal from my travels.Everything is starting to feel right to me here in palestine, again it is that feeling that i have finally found my cause. the past 3 years of trying to keep my head above water in arabic class and everything finally seems like it was all just leading p to this point. Leif was telling us about his experiences in gaza 3 years ago, and he said that he still has dreams about it. he summed up his experiences there by saying that everything around was just complete destruction, but at the same time it seemed like there was no grey area at all, he had this great sense of clarity and everything was just completely black and white. I suppose that is something like what i have been feeling here, though the situation in the west bank is nowhere near as extreme as gaza. It seems like being here, and listening to the peoples stories, and seeing all the things that i can that i am gaining a taste for that clarity. We watched a movie that talked about the use of the term conflict, and how it implies two equal parties opposing each other which is obviously very innacurate for the situation here. it is just systematic violence and oppression, and this i think is what i mean by that clarity. When youre in america talkng about the situation it is very easy to just say "well there are two sides to every story"(which would probably be a very open minded viewpoint in america) but if youve actually been here, living among these people, and standing in solidarity with them, you would find out just how ridiculous a statement like that is. This is not a conflict of lofty biblical ideals, it is a struggle for basic human rights, the same ones that we take for granted so often in america. The lengths at which the israeli soldiers go to just humiliate people, to take away their hope and pride astonish me daily. For example it is frequent that a woman wearing hijab (head cover for modest muslims) will be forced to take it off and her shirt at checkpoints (not for security reasons, but just because they can), or for a woman to give birth there because she is refused passage to a neighboring hospital. I have also heard stories from my friends here of times that israeli soldiers made them strip down and paraded them around the town. This is not security, this actually seems to be funny to them.Earlier tonight the power went out and the skies lit up like there were fireworks outside. I guess the israeli planes like to shoot off 'heat balls' to distract possible missle attacks. There were no missiles or anything, so i have to assume it was just to remind us that they are there. I am reminded again that this is normal to everyone here but me, and i should probably get over the shock sometime soon.

first post

I have been living in Palestine for about two weeks now. I had plans to do a blog before, and now i feel like its a sort of late start but i figured it was worth a shot. My host family here is amazing, they are liberal, fun christians living in beyt sahour, which is a suburb of bethlehem. you basically just walk down a gigantic hill from bethlehem to get here, its a good way to get in shape if you dont want to take a taxi. This is the place where the angels came to the shepards, and up the hill is where jesus was born. My family and my roommate are amazing. I am very happy here despite the effects of the occupation. I feel like everything i have been working for with the middle east and arabic have all been for this point and i have finally found my cause.

We havent had water for the past couple of days, because the israelis shut it off. Israeli settlements have confiscated 99% of the water in the west bank. They use 5 times more, and sell it back to the palestinians at 4 times the price, only turning in on once or twice a week. it is easy to tell the differance between palestinian houses and israeli ones, because the palestinian houses all have water tanks on top to collect as much as they can. this year has been the biggest water shortage since the early 30s, and the israelis run fountains in their neighborhoods and waste water constantly without worry because it will be shut off here first. I have seen the deserts around the settlements, and the lush gardens inside of them. Everything that happens in israel comes at the direct expense of the palestinians.

The first weekend we were here, we went to Jerusalem. we walked all the stations of the cross (which include a few extra here) in the morning, and saw the dome of the rock, and the wailing wall and everything. In the afternoon we met with a group called ICAHD (israeli comittee against house demolition). They took us around to see the situation there, its funny how many places you can go without showing IDs when you have a tour bus. We went to see places where houses had been demolished, which is very regular here. I guess the protocal is that they come, give you half an hour to get your things, arrest you after those 30 mins for being there, demolish your house in front of your children, and then bill you for the costs. It is a very sad thing, especially because many of those places are just left in rubble, they dont even clean it up or do anything with it. Many other homes have been demolished for the creation of the wall, and settlements.

This is just the beginning, i have to get some rest because tomorrow im off to work again with the orphans in the SOS childrens village who turned out to be pretty crazy today haha. Thanks for reading and i will have more up soon.

peace in the middle east,
Allie